


Continuing Education

by ArixaBell



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Both canon and AU, Canon Characters - Freeform, Enemies pretending to be lovers, Feigned Romance, Humor, M/M, Minor background pairings, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-17
Updated: 2014-02-08
Packaged: 2017-12-26 20:01:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/969719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArixaBell/pseuds/ArixaBell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the Battle of New York, Tony finds himself fighting Loki again. A spell backfires, sending them both to a universe where they – and the rest of the Avengers – are college students. Even worse, they have to play along, and the would-be subjugator of Earth has to quickly learn to act like a young human. Even WORSE, they find out they're a couple in this world, and they have to play along with that as well.</p><p>It quickly grows difficult for Tony to tell fiction from reality. Is Loki really falling for him, or is he just that good an actor, and still planning to kill him once they figure out how to get back to their universe?</p><p>Set post-Iron Man 3 and pre-Thor 2</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

That was it, the energy signature was definitely coming from that building. Tony swooped lower, hovering closer to the ground before landing, not bothering with his signature landing pose when no audience was present.

 _A warehouse..._ he thought as he blasted a door open. _The villain is actually holed up in an old warehouse. Someone should have a word with him about perpetuating stereotypes._ The interior was in desperate need of a coat of paint, but other than that, wasn't as creepy as he had anticipated. Light spilled in from the windows that lined the walls, up near the distant ceiling.

And there in the center was the foe he was after. Tony supposed he should be more shocked by the familiar black hair and leather clothes, but somehow he had been expecting him. Loki stood with his back to Tony, appearing as though he hadn't even heard the rather noisy entrance. A large design had been drawn onto the floor at his feet, an intricate and magical looking circle that was just as stereotypical as the choice in location. Someday, Tony hoped an evil mage would choose a happy rainbow design sigil drawn onto the floor of an abandoned daycare. And hey, no anxiety, so maybe the ridiculousness of the situation was a plus.

Loki made a variety of gestures with his hands, muttering something Tony couldn't catch. Wisps of green smoke curled from his fingers, and the drawing on the ground was soon glowing with a matching green color.

Part of Tony really, really wanted to just wait and see what was about to happen. He couldn't help it, he was a curious creature. But letting the villain accomplish his goals would be bad, if he were making another stupid wormhole that would be _really_ bad, so Tony introduced himself the same way as their first meeting. He fired a repulsor blast, sending the god staggering, but not quite bowling him over like it should have.

"Nice to see you again." Tony kept all of the weapons he had at his disposal trained on Loki. The slightest move, and he really would fire, all of them. When Tony had awakened that morning, it was with the happy knowledge that he was on vacation, with nothing more strenuous than a dip in the hot tub. If he wanted to get out of bed at all. But then Fury had called...

Loki turned, leveling him with a poisonous glare that quickly became a pseudo-friendly smile. "Indeed."

"I thought you were in prison."

"Things changed," Loki said, spreading his hands. "I thought you retired."

"Things changed." If Tony was going to delve into the details of his quick return to building suits, returning to danger, occasionally working with his fellow Avengers and enjoying the hell out of it, his girlfriend finally leaving him, he wasn't going to do it with Loki of all people. "So I guess I'm arresting you again."

"You are going to leave me alone," Loki said. And he actually had the balls to turn his back on Tony, returning to his sigil. "I will be gone in just a few minutes, and won't bother you again."

Okay. The hard way this time. Tony launched himself at Loki without further discussion, and the god flung himself to the side, pivoting around to punch him in the head and knock him back. Being taken on by unarmored individuals would never seem normal...

Tony had expected fighting Loki hand-to-hand would be reminiscent of fighting Thor, what with them being raised together and all. It was not. He was fighting the gazelle instead of the lion, only a gazelle with a really mean punch. The bastard kept _not being there_ when Tony swung at him, leaving him standing there stupidly and open for an attack. At one point, Tony would swear there was more than one Loki in the room.

A vicious blow sent Tony stumbling. He lashed out blindly with an armored leg, and it was by pure luck he actually connected and knocked Loki down. Tony grabbed him and flung him into the wall, frustrated when that seemed to mostly just wind the god, even if the wall was not so lucky. But Tony still took advantage of the split second Loki was stunned and took aim – just in time for Loki to pull the cloning trick again, and Tony had no idea which of the multiple Lokis to fire upon. Until the real Loki had a grip on his arm, swinging him like a discus.

Tony didn't let him repay the favor and toss him through a wall. He fired at Loki while he was in mid-swing, and he let go with an annoyed cry, both of them stumbling. Tony tackled Loki before he had time to recover, sending them both sprawling to the ground.

"No, you idiot!" Loki shouted, scrambling to his feet, and Tony realized they had both fallen directly onto the circular sigil. It had been thoroughly smudged by their bodies, and there was a very alarming look of panic on Loki's face. "What have you done?"

Tony swallowed, throat suddenly dry. If Loki was worried, this could not mean anything good. "What did you do?"

"What did _I_ \--" Loki was cut off by a rumble from deep within that ground that made Tony's teeth rattle. "Oh, you fool."

Tony couldn't move. He really, really wanted to get the hell out of that magical circle, especially as it flared to life with green fire, but he was stuck. It wasn't that he was paralyzed (he knew what _that_ was like too, unfortunately), it was as if the will to move had simply been sucked out of him. If this was another fucking portal to space...

The flames grew brighter, though they cast no heat. Green light filled Tony's vision, and tendrils of fear were taking hold of him. As his vision grew dark, accompanied by the sensation of being wrung out like a washcloth, all Tony could think was that at least Loki was going down with him.

* * *

Tony's senses returned slowly, one by one. It was an arduous process. Touch, of course, was the first to recover, restoring him to consciousness with a lovely headache. It was a headache of the 'drank too much last night' strength, but nothing out of the ordinary or unmanageable. That particular sense also tried to tell him that he was laying on grass instead of the warehouse floor, which couldn't be right. Some time after that – minutes or hours, he could not say – sight was the last to return, as he finally managed to crack his eyes open.

It seemed his sensory receptors had not lied to him. Tony was indeed laying on grass. And it wasn't until that moment that he remembered that, regardless of what he was laying on, he should not have been able to feel it anyway. _What happened to the suit?_

Panic jerked him upright. Tony looked around wildly, but there was no flash of red or gold anywhere. And as he looked down at himself, he realized he wasn't even wearing the same clothes he had been underneath the armor. Jeans and a band t-shirt. Which, yeah, was his usual style of casual clothing, but it still wasn't what he'd worn that day.

There were buildings. No abandoned warehouses anywhere, the buildings looked well-used. Uniformly brick, arranged around a vast grassy area that was crisscrossed with sidewalks that met in the center at a fountain. One of the buildings was right beside them, so Tony supposed he was lucky he hadn't been dumped right on top of it. It didn't take clusters of students milling about (thankfully not nearby) to tell Tony he had ended up on a campus somewhere. What the hell sort of transportation spell had Loki come up with?

It certainly could have been worse. Considering how horrified Loki had looked when Tony interfered with his magic, this was definitely nowhere near as bad as what he had anticipated.

Speaking of... Oh, there he was. Loki still appeared unconscious, lying in a heap on the grass nearby. He had also had his clothing changed, and was wearing black jeans and a green button-up shirt. It looked quite odd on him.

"Okay..." Tony finally forced himself to his feet. The headache was ebbing, and the dizziness he had expected upon standing was minor. He was fine. Transported to some university or other for whatever reason, but fine. He nudged Loki with his foot. Then, remembering himself, turned the next nudge into a kick. "Get up and take me home."

Loki rolled over with a growl, and slowly sat up. He blinked as he took in their surroundings, then turned to Tony with a murderous glare. "What have you done?"

"Yeah, you keep blaming me." Tony snorted, stepping away from the angry god. "I'm pretty sure this has been all your fault. Why did you bring us here?"

"Obviously this had not been my intent." Loki stood, taking in his new outfit with obvious distaste. "It was a spell to transport me to a distant planet."

"Good for you. Send me... Hey, what am I worrying about? I can easily get home from here. I don't need your stupid magic."

But Loki didn't seem to be paying attention. His eyes were locked on something behind Tony, and that horrified look from the moment his spell backfired had returned. "I would not count on that..."

Tony glanced around, but the only thing behind him was one of the buildings. "I'm afraid so, I--" He was cut off when Loki lunged forward, snagging Tony by the throat and slamming him back against the window behind him.

"Oh, you _fool_ , what have you done?" Loki snarled.

"You know," Tony managed to say in a strangled voice, "I am really getting tired of you and windows." And as Loki's eyes narrowed, Tony knew he was looking at death itself. He had no idea what was pissing Loki off so much, but he looked truly murderous.

"Do you know where we are?" Loki's voice had grown deadly quiet. Tony could only stare at him and wait for the final blow, for his hand to squeeze a little tighter. And then, to Tony's great surprise, Loki released him.

"It's just some stupid school!" Tony managed, rubbing his throat.

"Turn around."

"I'm not going to--"

"Turn around!"

Tony did so. It wasn't like he was being asked to do something stupid like kneel or bend over; apparently Loki had seen something in the window that seriously freaked him out.

"I don't see anything," Tony said. "Something inside?"

"No," Loki said, scornful. "Look again."

"I don't... oh..." Their reflections. Tony looked over at Loki, then back to the window, astonished. Their reflections looked like teenagers! _They_ didn't, Loki was still the same millenium-old-alien-who-looked-about-thirtyish in person. But their reflections said otherwise. Tony raised a hand to wave, and the kid version of him waved as well. He moved the hand to his face, feeling the familiar lines and facial hair, despite the smooth face peering back at him.

Tony turned to gape at Loki. "What have you _done_?"


	2. Chapter 2

"Where the hell have you brought us?" Tony fought down the rising panic. He didn't even know what was going on or where he was, now was not the time to lose his head. Making Loki lose his head sounded appealing, but that too would have to wait.

"Another world." Loki seemed to have lost interest in Tony, gazing around at the campus, idly rubbing the back of his neck.

"Looks like Earth to me..." There was no way this was another planet. No way. It was weird enough meeting aliens who looked human, at least Asgard sounded pretty damn different from Earth, from the way Thor described it. This... this was Earth. No two ways about it.

"It is." Loki smiled one of his trademark creepy 'I will murder you in your sleep' smiles. "But not your Earth. Your stupidity may have doomed us all."

"Okay." Tony shoved a fist in Loki's face, jabbing his index finger at him. "First? No more blaming me for whatever mess this is. This is your spell. I had nothing to do with this spell. It's not my fault that you were stupid enough to try casting a spell near where I live. If us landing in the middle of your doodle had unpleasant consequences, you really should have warned me once we started throwing each other around the place." Loki didn't answer, of course, just watched him with a cross between amusement and loathing. "Second... what the fuck are you talking about? How are we _doomed_ by being here?"

"This is another version of your planet," Loki said, nonplussed. "With other versions of us. Whom we are now inhabiting."

"Uh huh." Another glance at their youthful reflections. "We're in them. And why? To set right what once went wrong? To eventually find a way to leap home?"

Loki sighed. "What?"

"No, nothing, TV show..." Tony rubbed at his beard, reassuring himself it was still there again. "Back to the doom?"

"We cannot alter anything in this world's timeline." Loki eyed him, expression shouting louder than words how much he believed Tony was capable of not messing everything up. "That is what would doom us. Everything and everyone."

"What? _Why?_ "

Loki shook his head. "You would not understand."

"Try me. You'd be surprised what I understand."

"You'd be surprised what you don't."

That slender neck would feel so good tightly squeezed between his hands... "You're so full of shit." Did Loki even know what that expression meant? He might take it literally or something. "Seriously. You were known as the God of Lies, right? I mean, come on. Simply fucking with a dimension's timeline would make the whole universe explode?"

"No."

"No," Tony repeated, feeling a headache brewing.

"I would describe it more as an implosion than explosion."

"How do you... what... that's..." Tony ran his hands down his face, giving up. Hell, for all he knew, they were on their own planet and only their reflections had changed. But whatever. Tony would play along. He was tired of this. "Okaaay. Let's pretend that's true. So we just need to hide away in a cave – er, two caves, and not touch anything until you can get us home?"

Loki shook his head, rolling his eyes. "This is not like your idea of time travel, where you are an invader, and the slightest change to the past could alter the present. We are in the present, just in another universe, and we are people who are supposed to be here. We cannot change the natural course of events, and hiding in caves would do just that."

"So what are you suggesting we do then?" But it quickly dawned on him, and Tony stared at Loki in growing horror. "Oh no..." The goddamn trickster just smirked. "No, no way. Send us home now, I am not going with the flow and pretending to be a college kid."

"I cannot," Loki said with a dramatic shrug. "I don't have my magic." Tony gave him a flat stare. "I can feel it inside me, but this mortal body cannot use magic."

Tony dropped back onto the grass, leaning back against the building with a _thud_. "I had better wake up soon, in that warehouse. This is not real."

"I wish you were right." Loki rubbed the back of his neck again, and Tony realized the shirt's tag must be bothering him, and that amused him for some reason. The whole situation was so ridiculous, why not? Everyone and their mother coming after him in their own suits, alien armies, people blowing up... now, apparently, alternate dimensions. Seriously, why the fuck not? "If you truly believe I am lying, that I _desire_ this situation, you are a bigger fool than I thought."

"So you're saying we are college students here--"

"I did not say that."

Tony blinked. "Well... it's kinda obvious, isn't it? Whatever, we obviously are. And you want us to... just pretend to be them? Or else there will be doom?"

"Basically."

"Basically," he repeated with a groan. "You... why... how..." He took a deep breath. Loki sure brought out the articulate side of him. "How do you even plan on doing that? You don't know the first thing about acting like a human!"

"I will manage."

"Wh—no you won't! You aren't even sane for _your_ species!" There was that dangerous look that said Loki was not messing around and he _would_ murder someone, so Tony quickly moved on. "There is no way you could successfully pretend to be an adolescent human. Especially not to the point that people who've known you a long time wouldn't be suspicious. Nor would you be able to... take classes! _I_ could do all that. You, not so much. So if messing with this world's timeline would doom us all, I'm afraid you're the one--"

"As you pointed out, I am the God of Lies," Loki said, murderous expression toned down to a smirk again. "I am a skilled actor."

"Nobody's that skilled!"

"Don't underestimate me."

"You think you can do this." Tony finally laughed, because if ever there was a situation that needed laughter... It may have been tinged with a hint of hysteria."You can be a human."

"Of course."

"You can figure out exactly how to act around people who've known you years. Maybe your whole life."

"Humans are simple to figure out."

"You can learn new subject matter so that you can pass classes and exams?"

"Can I master human sciences? Simple."

Arrogant SOB. But Tony thought of something Loki couldn't do for sure. "You can pretend to like Thor? Huh?"

Loki snorted. "There is no guarantee he is here, or that we would know each other in this world. But yes. I have centuries of practice."

"God..." Tony rubbed his hands down his face. "I can't believe I've moved on to wondering how we can do this..."

"I'm glad you have accepted the truth at last."

"Shut up." Tony finally stood, using the wall behind him to lever himself upright. "So this is happening." Loki didn't answer, but Tony could practically read his thoughts, and they were impolite comments about geniuses and their genius statements. "And we need to make it work. Though I still only have your word for it that there are bad consequences..."

"There are."

"Uh huh. And I'm assuming you will be trying to figure out how to use magic in the meantime?"

"Of course. I learned once, I can learn again, even with obstacles like a non-magical body."

"And once you figure it out, you will take us both home, and not leave me here?" Because if there was one thing Loki would likely never be good at, it was being trustworthy.

Loki chuckled. "Don't be ridiculous. I would not leave you here to ruin everything and destroy the universe."

"Great, thanks." Okay then. What now? Plan, plan, they needed a plan. They needed to figure shit out. "Okay, um. You know what we're going to do?" It was more statement than question.

"What I say?" Loki said.

"Nope. I'm the human who was once a college student and knows what he's doing. You work on getting us home, I'll work on keeping us alive in the meantime."

"Wonderful..."

"Shut up." Tony began to pace. A student wandered by fairly close, so Tony waved, and the friendly gesture was returned. "No, we're going to study. I will find out where we live and what our majors are, we will go to your place, find your textbooks, and you are going to read the shit out of them. Until you are an expert and could pass with your eyes closed."

"And you, Stark?"

"I get the fun research, of course." Tony grinned. "I will delve into the darkest corners of the internet. Facebook, Twitter, blogs, vlogs, whatever I can find. Because young folks these days, bless their little hearts, nothing happens they don't post online. I will research us. I will find out what our lives were like, what our personalities are like, what people think of us."

Loki did not indicate if he understood a word of that or not. "I suppose we don't have much choice."

"Nope. And once we have some idea what we're doing, we go our separate ways, and avoid each other like the plague until you can get us home."

"That sounds like a plan."

Tony wondered how long it would take before the fact that this was not a bad dream was going to sink in. This was completely insane. It was one of those surreal moments that almost felt like an out-of-body experience (ha...), with him floating to the side, watching his body go along with this mad situation.

And then they were attacked. Someone, another student, flung an arm around both their shoulders. Tony could practically feel the air sizzle as Loki likely plotted this person's death.

Tony twisted around enough to see who had the balls for such a move (then he reminded himself that this Loki probably wasn't homicidal), and blinked in surprised at the much-younger face of one Clint Barton.

Okay. This was real then.

Loki recognized him too, staring in surprise. "Barton?"

Clint laughed. "That's right, _Odinson_ ," he said, teasing, and Loki just stiffened further. Luckily, Clint released them. "Where are you guys going?"

It was late afternoon; he could guess, Tony just had to hope he didn't take any late classes or have any other obligations or existing plans. "Oh, you know, off to study..."

Clint rolled his eyes, and Tony mentally groaned. Wrong answer? "It's Friday! Why are you... ohh!" The light returned to his eyes and he grinned, looking back and forth between them. "You're gonna _study_. Gotcha..." And he winked. He _winked_. Tony thought he might start to hyperventilate. Just when he thought his panic attacks were getting under control, young Clint had to come along and ruin everything.

"Yes," Loki said, clearly confused.

Clint clapped Loki on the shoulder. "Just remember to hang a tie on the door this time, boys, I'm all out of brain bleach."

And as he walked off, Loki staring after him in bafflement, Tony buried his face in his hands and groaned. "Just kill me..."


	3. Chapter 3

"I don't understand..." Loki finally said, long minutes after Clint had departed.

Tony, who had spent the whole time with his face buried in his hands and wishing for death, finally looked up. "He means sex, Loki!" he snapped, and the god actually seemed startled. "He thinks we're going to spend the weekend having sex. He implied we have done so before." When Loki still looked confused, Tony sighed. "In a roommate situation, you hang a tie outside the door, letting them know you're having sex and they shouldn't come in."

Loki's eyebrows had shot up toward his hairline. "I see."

"Yeah."

Loki regained his composure with annoying quickness. "Very well. It is not hard to pretend we have partaken in activities that do not have audiences. We can still stay far from each other."

"God, I hope so..." It could be worse though. It could always be worse. It probably was worse... Tony yanked his phone out. He had to know.

"What are you doing?"

"Looking for my Facebook page. I should have one... it will tell me if it's going to be as easy as that..." With an annoyed look, Loki opened his mouth, and Tony quickly cut him off. "I know you don't know what I'm talking about. Just shut up and sit tight." A few short moments later, he groaned.

"Now what?"

"I was afraid of this..." Life hated him. It truly despised him and wanted him to suffer. All they had to do was get their stories straight, get their majors and studies straight, and they never had to see each other again until Loki came knocking on Tony's door letting him know it was time to go home. But no. No, nothing was ever that easy. "It's not going to be a simple matter of pretending hey, sure, we had sex! No, you're my boyfriend."

"Your boyfriend," Loki repeated, with the same tone one might use when stating 'a spider laid eggs in my skin'.

"Yup." He thrust the phone back into his pocket. He would more thoroughly study himself later. Yeah, he had given up denying this was real. "Are you 100% sure we have to play along with this stupid situation? Because I don't want to be your boyfriend."

"Do you really think I am thrilled by this?" Loki's expression grew dangerous again.

"People will expect us to be together. We will have to go on dates, and hold hands, and make googly eyes at each other." Now, Tony didn't have a problem with dating another man. He had done so on occasion in the past. No, it wasn't the male part that was an issue, it was the Loki part. Of all the billions of people...

"Are you certain that is what our relationship is in this world?"

"This Clint and this Tony seem to think so..."

"This is unacceptable!"

"Yep." Tony heroically resisted the urge to bang his head against the wall. "Where's your super God of Lies acting skills now?"

Loki practically growled. "Find out where we live and get us out of here..."

Tony being Tony, it was easy to find out such information as what classes they were taking, and where they lived, without having to actually ask somebody and look like idiots. Tony was (surprise surprise) an engineer, living in a nearby apartment he shared with Bruce Banner (did all of them go to this school?) Loki was a business major, sharing a dorm room with Clint. Tony would have much preferred to retreat to his own home away from campus, but Loki was the one who needed help with his studies, so to the dorms they went.

The room was amusingly color-coded in green and purple like Mardi Gras. And there were mirrors. That, Tony decided, was not surprising; Loki was a narcissistic bastard. And so they got to watch their younger selves going about their business. Weird.

Tony made quick work of finding textbooks. And Loki was oh so thrilled to settle down on his green and black bed and read about human economics, marketing, and other exciting topics. Tony borrowed the nearest laptop and started his own studying.

It wasn't hard. The only person, it seemed, who didn't record all his thoughts online was Loki himself. He had a rather empty Facebook page, and not much else. But that was all right, Tony was able to gather plenty of information everywhere else. Thor especially detailed everything that happened on every possible social site. He was probably one of those people who don't really believe that anyone and everyone can find what you write online, and treats it as a personal diary. And what Thor didn't document, their friends did.

As they had guessed from Clint addressing Loki as Odinson, he was adopted into that family in this world, too. Odin (born in Iceland, as was his wife, though both had moved to England at young ages, and to America a few years ago) owned a business (not nearly as successful as Stark Industries [which, yes, existed as usual in this world], but it did quite well, and that explained the desire for Loki and Thor to acquire business degrees). Unsurprisingly, Thor was the popular jock golden boy, and Loki was his shy, nerdy little brother (though observations by friends painted a picture of a boy who was the shy and quiet type until you got to know him, and then he turned out to be a passionate individual with a wicked sense of humor). He had discovered his adoptive status while still in high school, and had the expected freakout, minus all those crimes and attempted crimes that ended in -cide. There was a huge fight with his family, but he eventually got over it and all was well again (Loki had pretended to ignore Tony and concentrate on his textbooks during that part). It probably helped that at least this Loki was the same species as his adopted family.

Thor seemed to adore his brother, from the way he wrote about him. And Loki apparently adored his big brother in return, but without input from Loki himself, they only had the word of Thor and their friends, so it was anybody's guess if that were true. The Loki sitting on the bed with his studies did his usual oh-god-shut-up-about-Thor eyeroll. But apparently the two still hung out together a lot, and human Loki had decided to attend the same college as his brother. Well, maybe, it might not have been their idea.

Tony was even easier to gather information on, what with growing up in the lime light and all. And he, it turned out, had a very similar backstory in this world to his own. Child prodigy, raised by aloof parents and beloved butler, parents died in car crash a couple years ago... Really, the only thing that baffled Tony was why he was attending university at the age of twenty like a normal kid...

Oh, and the company was currently in the hands of caretaker and friend of Howard, Obadiah Stane. Tony casually asked if murdering somebody would mess with this world's timeline. Loki seemed to find that amusing.

And then the best part. Thor, ever the concerned brother regarding his quiet sibling's lack of zillions of friends, had dragged Loki to a party not long after the younger's first year of college had begun. And there he met Tony. Of course, everybody knew who Tony Stark was, but that was the first time seeing him in person. Loki had not spoken to him, but he sure spoke of him plenty afterward. Thor waxed poetic about his little brother's crush. Apparently he mooned after the amazingly hot genius (Loki rolled his eyes again, annoyed. Okay, so Tony might have been exaggerating a little...) and watched him from afar for six months! And then one day, they ran into each other again, and Tony asked him out. He would later admit that he, too, had had a crush on Loki ever since that party. It was all very cloyingly sweet, though most likely given the rosey-tinted candy coating of a boastful big brother. Anyway, that had been a year ago. They had been boyfriends for a whole damn year.

There was no way they could get away with not acting like a happy couple... god fucking dammit.

"Any bright ideas now?" Tony glared at Loki, who was calmly absorbing marketing strategies.

"We will have to pretend to be a couple," Loki said. "I don't like it either, but we have no choice." He didn't like it either. There was an understatement.

"Goodie." Tony tossed the laptop onto Clint's pillow. That was enough studying for him. "So hey, now that we're dating and all, why don't you tell me what the hell you were doing at that warehouse?"

Loki lifted his eyes from the book. "I already explained that."

"You were creating a portal to escape to another planet... but presumably a planet in the same dimension." Tony nodded. "Yes, I remember. What planet? How did you escape your prison?"

"What planet is irrelevant. How I escaped is none of your business." Loki slapped the book shut. "Any other questions?"

"Yeah, this is going to work..." On the plus side, Tony could believe Loki's story about potential doom if they set a foot out of line more easily now. It was the only explanation for Loki accepting the boyfriend situation and not hurling Tony through the nearest reflective surface.

And then a quick merry tune emanated from Loki. With a frown, he snatched the phone out of his pocket. Tony had no idea how familiar with modern technology Loki was (hooray, something else they would have to study together...), but for now he grabbed the phone away from him. Its cover was black and green snake skin. "Let's see who's texting you."

"Give that back."

"Do you know how to text yet?" Loki deigned not to answer, and Tony examined the phone. "Oh, look at that, it's from Thor. He wants to know if you're still on for breakfast tomorrow." Tony showed the screen to Loki. "Are you? Playing nice with Thor, that's a big step..."

"I will manage."

"Sure you will." Tony quickly tapped out a reply. "Tony and I will be there." When Loki raised an eyebrow, Tony shrugged. "It's too soon, I'm not letting you out in public by yourself. Until you've got the hang of being human, I'll have to be your coach." He sighed. "So. Being nice to your brother, and acting like my boyfriend in public, all at once. You're really hitting the ground running."

Thor soon replied with a brief 'ok :)'.

"It is late," Loki said, no further comments on tomorrow's activities. "Go home."

"You know..." Tony stood, replacing the laptop where he had found it. "You don't have to be such a dick. I tried to stop you because it was my heroic duty, nothing personal. You're the one who tried to kill me, and conquer my planet. I'm the only one with an actual reason to hate your guts."

"In that case," Loki said with a poisonous smile, "please go home."

"Fuck you." He would leave with pleasure. "Go right to sleep, so you can avoid having to talk to Clint if he comes back. I'll return in the morning."

Loki opened his mouth, probably to give a haughty speech on why he did not take orders from pathetic mortals. Tony exited the room and slammed the door shut before he would have to hear it.

Seriously. Fuck his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So does anyone have any preferences for Thor's love life? Jane, Sif, nobody?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well Jane was the most popular. Works for me! So Thor/Jane will be a minor side pairing. :)

Tony's apartment was quite modest for something owned by... well, Tony. But it was palatial by college student standards, with two bedrooms and bathrooms. One bedroom door was already shut by the time he strolled inside; either Bruce was the private type who did not like snoopers in his room, or he was already inside and asleep.

Tony's room was an homage to bands, comics, cars, and miscellaneous science. He couldn't help but sneak a peak at the comic book collection on his shelves, wondering what alternate-universe-him read. Captain America? Ha. Nope, only fictional superheroes. Steve was probably a fellow student, no Cap in this world. (And that was a dangerous line of thinking. Steve wasn't around back in the '40s. Nor was Howard, he was at least twenty years younger, just like Tony. They both had such an impact on the war, how had everything worked out without them? Well, obviously it had, no use pondering too long...)

He was too worn out to spend any more time "studying". He really should look up Bruce at least, so he would know where he stood if he ran into his roommate. But he felt exhausted, physically and mentally, like he had run a marathon while pondering some of the unsolved mathematical problems. It was really starting to sink in that he was in _an entirely different world_ , far from everyone and everything he knew. That the only person on the planet he knew was _Loki_. Whom he was going to have to train to act passably human, all while pretending to be in love with him.

Wanting to cry, Tony shucked off his clothes, leaving them in a heap on the floor like a good adolescent, and crawled into bed.

Sleep was a long time coming.

* * *

Tony still managed to avoid his roommate in the morning. He was in a grumpy mood, so that was definitely a good thing. Peeking in though the window was the dull, bleak light of an overcast day, so that matched nicely. After a quick shower and shave (and wasn't _that_ weird, he almost wanted to try shaving without a mirror) he yanked some clothes on and hurried out, despite the strong desire to just stay in bed wrapped in a cocoon of blankets. Permanently. And definitely not return to Loki.

But that's where he found himself a short time later. Nobody answered his knock, so Tony let himself in. Still no Clint, so yay for no roommates to deal with for either of them. But then Tony remembered _why_ Clint would be avoiding his and Loki's room, and his stomach gave an unpleasant flip. He was glad he had not eaten breakfast yet.

"What do you want?" Loki growled. He was sprawled on his bed atop the covers, still dressed in rumpled clothes, hair spread all over the pillow.

"Looking good." Tony chuckled at the sight. And wow, no wonder the god used so much product, his hair was a frizzy mess. "We're meeting with Thor, remember? Nine thirty, Magnolia Cafe." Bless this alternate God of Thunder for being specific and not saying 'the usual time and place', or something equally unhelpful. "Not that we need to get there ASAP. You're with me, I've never been known for being punctual." And bless this alternate Tony for not being too dissimilar from his real self, so they only had to concentrate on Loki's persona. "But you do need to pretty yourself up, and pull your shit together, because you need to remember how to act pleasant."

"All I _need_ to do is--"

"Shut up and get dressed." Tony rummaged through Loki's clothing, selecting a halfway decent outfit. He owned a lot of black, shocking. "And brush your hair..." He tossed the clothing onto the bed, folding his arms. Loki remained unmoving for a long, awkward stretch. "What?" Tony finally said.

"Get out." Loki leveled a death glare at Tony that should have burned greenish holes in his skin.

"You are not getting out of this breakfast! You're the one who said we have to--"

"I am coming. And you are waiting for me outside, your voice makes me want to tear my ears off."

"Whatever." No point in arguing. Tony stepped out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him. Again. They had barely exchanged two words today and already they were annoyed with each other. Loki had apparently awakened in an even worse mood than Tony. What the hell was _he_ grumpy about, anyway? Oh no, he'd been taken away from family he hated, and a prison. Oh, or whatever distant planet he had been fleeing to, to live out his long life in a strange world as a criminal on the run.

Maybe he just wasn't a morning person.

So Tony waited, nothing much to look at besides walls and doors. If Loki took much longer, he might have to wander down to the end of the hall to inspect the bulletin board. One of the lights was flickering and feeding Tony's growing headache and tempting him to fix it. He turned to hide his face whenever anybody walked by, not wishing to be recognized and obligated to chitchat. It was early enough, though, that nobody else was in the mood to stop and chat.

Where _was_ his suit, Tony couldn't help but wonder, after being left alone with his brain for too long. Had it been left empty in that warehouse, freaking the hell out of whoever found it? What about the clothes he had been wearing, did those remain behind, too? Was everyone out looking for Tony's naked corpse? Or... had Loki's clothing remained there, too? Well shit! If that were the case, everyone back home would think the two of them were sleeping together, too! Hopefully all clothing items left behind were floating in limbo somewhere.

Loki finally emerged, after about forever. He did clean up nice, Tony had to give him that, though the casual human clothes still looked odd on him. Tony never expected he would think that leather and metal would look _normal_ on somebody... Come to think of it, aside from yesterday when he hadn't been paying attention, Tony had never really seen what Loki's body looked like before. But there it was, in all its slender, denim pantsed glory.

Hey, if he had to pretend to be sleeping with the guy, he may as well appreciate the goods...

"Where are we going?" Loki muttered.

"Aren't we Little Miss Sunshine." Tony turned to stride down the hall, as if walking quickly would get him away from the god. "It's within walking distance, you don't have to stress about sharing a cab with me."

They ventured out of the dorm in silence, both pretending the other wasn't there. This... was not going to work. Loki was not a people person, to say the least. If they really were doomed in the event of a failed attempt at pretending to be their young human selves, Loki was going to get them all killed in no time. Tony had known Loki was full of hot air when he bragged about what a good actor he was. When acting involved being a nice, likable person, no way.

The stony silence pervaded as they walked, far apart, and Tony started to wonder if he should... hold Loki's hand or something. He glanced over at the brooding god, and decided against it. Not all couples spent every second of the day glued to each other. If for some reason somebody actually stopped them and asked why they were walking grumpily far away from each other, Tony could say... that they were tired. Because they were up all night. And he would wink. That would stop further questions!

But nobody stopped them, and they made the awkward trek to the Magnolia Cafe in relative peace.

Tony pushed open the door, smile tugging at his lips as he stepped into the cute restaurant. It was cozy and warm, wooden floors and linen tablecloths. Their dining companion was easy to spot, towering over the other patrons. Actually... Thor didn't look all that different. Not _quite_ as buff, but what mortal was? Face a smidge younger. Hair a bit shorter. Loki tensed slightly, and Tony winced, waiting for the explosion.

"Brother. Over here." The voice was soft and pleasant and almost unrecognizable, considering whose mouth it was coming from. Tony turned to Loki in surprise, then did a double take, jaw nearly dropping. Loki was _smiling_. It was not a smile that promised pain in the near future; it was a smile that promised sunshine and kittens. Mischievous kittens, possibly planning to pee under the bed and shred the curtains, but kittens nevertheless. Loki turned to meet Tony's stare, and his smile grew. He reached over and took Tony's hand, lacing their fingers together.

What.

"Ah, there you are." Thor stood like the gentleman he was, grinning broadly. As the pair approached, Thor reached out and wrapped an arm around Loki's shoulders, pulling him into a hug. Tony was torn between gaping at the sight, and pulling his phone out to take a picture. Though Loki did appear to stiffen in Thor's friendly embrace, he otherwise didn't break character, smiling warmly.

"Hey, good to see you again." Regaining his composure, Tony clapped Thor on the shoulder before sitting at the cute table and snagging a menu. As the brothers sat, he wondered how much Loki knew about Earthly food, and if he should have given him a lesson... He did have to eat, didn't he? Surely he ate during his little invasion. The thought of Loki, in all his horned splendor, stopping for a bite to eat with his brainwashed minions was not helping Tony keep a straight face.

There was already orange juice and coffee waiting for them, so Tony eagerly helped himself to the steaming mug. Loki followed suit, albeit much slower, and his expression as he struggled not to make a disgusted face was hilarious. Thor – his Thor back home – had taken to coffee rather quickly, but the same could not be said of Loki.

"Sooo, what to get..." Tony said. He flashed a grin at Loki over the top of the menu. "You should get some pastries, hon. You could stand to fatten up that skinny ass of yours."

His eyes flashed dangerously, but Loki's only other reaction was a laugh and a friendly swat on Tony's shoulder. "Very funny." By the time Thor turned to beam at them, Loki's eyes were soft and sweet again. Holy shit, he looked _cute_ like this... How did the master of evil smirks and murderous grins have such an adorable smile?

An attractive waitress – who looked barely eighteen, but Tony reminded himself that his body was twenty so it was totally okay – stopped by their table, taking Thor's and Tony's orders. Loki casually handed his menu to her. "I have no idea what I want. Order for me, Thor?"

"Cute," Tony murmured as Thor did so as if it were the most normal thing in the world. It seemed Loki did not trust his own boyfriend to order something tasty for him. Tony hoped Thor ordered something gross for his brother, but alas, all three of them wound up with perfectly normal breakfasts. They dug in, and Loki expressed no surprise or disgust at anything he tried.

"So how are you?" Thor asked between bites, directing the question at both of them. Now there was a loaded question... How were they, ha. Tony was eating breakfast in a cute little restaurant with a phony cheery homicidal maniac. Everything was amazing! Maybe tomorrow he'd have brunch with Stane!

"Fine, of course," Loki said, eating with a bit more finesse than his brother. Maybe that was always the case. And really? Tony could picture it. A vast dining hall full of rowdy vikings, food and drink flying everywhere, while Loki rolled his eyes and picked daintily at his food in the middle of it. Yeah, that was a weird thought...

"Yup, same old same old," Tony added. "How was your date?" Because Thor had helpfully tweeted about having a date yesterday.

It didn't seem possible, but Thor brightened even more. "Oh, Jane and I had a great time. You know that little fondue place?" Now there was a Captain America story Tony didn't need to be reminded about. "It's so romantic. You know, if you drop your food in the pot, you're supposed to kiss! You should go there."

"That sounds nice," Loki said, lowering his eyes shyly.

"We saw a couple get engaged!"

"How sweet," Tony said. He gave Loki a look that he hoped conveyed _Stop overacting._ "I'm thinking of dragging Loki to do some karaoke one of these days." He grinned, while Loki raised an eyebrow.

Thor chuckled. "You should wait until he can legally drink in the bars. I think it will take quite a bit of alcohol for him to sing in public." And there was the understanding dawning in Loki's eyes.

"He'd sing for me. Wouldn't you, babe?" Tony gave him a smile that would probably have most women naked by now.

"Hmm. Maybe with the right incentive..." Loki's expression grew downright wicked.

"Okay!" Thor quickly intervened. "That's enough of that line of thinking." He cleared his throat, turning to Tony. "New topic. Any new projects?"

 _New projects. Please be talking about engineering._ "Of course!" He grinned, lifting his coffee cup in a salute. "Always. Why, I've been thinking about flying suits of--" He cut off abruptly, stifling a wince, when _somebody_ kicked him hard under the table.

Thor didn't notice the domestic violence taking place right under his nose, and was laughing. "Very funny."

"Haha, yeah, funny." Would it be worth the repercussions to kick Loki back? Probably not... Now what was something safe to build at this time? He was afraid to think of any new projects lest they be something he never would have considered at this age, in this world. Well, he'd made Dummy in school... "Helpful robot arms. Wave of the future, we'll never need human assistants."

"That's a good idea!" Thor grinned. "I want one when you're done."

"I'll give you a friends and family discount."

More friendly laughter, and they fell silent again, finishing their meals. Thor was unsurprisingly the first to clear his plate, and worked on a few cups of coffee while waiting for his companions. He occasionally chatted about nothing in particular, with Loki murmuring responses and nodding along like a doting little brother. Tony just ate, wondering if it was really the Twilight Zone they had ended up in.

Tony quickly stood once they were all finished, hoping nobody wanted to linger for more coffee and chitchat. To his relief, the others stood, too. Tony tossed down some money. "This was nice!"

Thor nodded. "Well, I'll see you at your place tonight, then," he said, and Tony blinked. His place? Did he have a to-do? Nobody had mentioned anything online about a party at his place, so maybe something more casual... "Whose turn is it to pick?"

"Uh..."

"Mine, of course," Loki said with a more normal (for him) smirk.

Thor chuckled. "You've had _two_ turns recently. No, I think it's Steve's turn."

 _I knew Steve was here!_ "I think you're right," Tony mused, still not really sure what they were talking about.

"I'm sure he'll pick another classic." Thor shrugged. "Could be worse. You make the popcorn, I'll bring a pizza."

 _Aha. Movie night. Gotcha._ "Yup. See you then."

"I'll give you a lift to the dorms," Thor said, nudging Loki.

"Oh, yes." Loki's eyes flicked between the two of them. "I'll be with you in a moment. Just let me speak with Tony a moment..." Wait, had he addressed him as Tony before?

They stepped outside, Tony all ready for Loki to ask for advice on dealing with Thor by himself. He would fret about saying the wrong thing, using the wrong slang, maybe ask Tony to accompany them just this once...

Instead, Loki grabbed Tony by the throat again and slammed him against the wall, all cheeriness vanished like smoke. "Listen to me--"

"Let go," Tony gasped. "Someone'll see, you idiot!"

Loki pressed closer, if anything squeezing tighter. Tony grimaced, struggling to draw in a breath. "If anyone spies us, they will think we are an amorous couple and move on." His eyes narrowed. "Do I need to reiterate the situation? Do I need to remind you that we cannot alter this timeline?" Tony could do nothing but shake his head. "You will not build a suit of armor. Or even mention it. Nor will you build energy sources, or ridiculous buildings with your name on it. You will do nothing about your traitorous family friend. You will not so much as _joke_ about any forbidden topics with the people here. Because if you do, and we survive, then I will get us safely home, where I will no longer have to be at all restrained regarding what I do to you. Do you understand?" He loosened his grip enough for Tony to speak.

"I got it," Tony growled with a grateful breath. "Now let go." He returned Loki's glare. "Keep in mind that you being caught abusing me would also not go over well, so you might want to avoid that, too."

"Brother?" Thor said from behind them. "Are you, er, ready?"

Loki promptly stepped away from Tony, smiling brightly. "I'm ready. Let's go."

Tony had a brief moment of panic, wondering if Thor _had_ seen Loki's violent side. Judging from the light blush highlighting his face... nope. The bastard was right, Thor had just assumed they were making out and didn't look too closely. He was so used to them being cute and amorous with each other, he had managed to overlook Loki's _hand around Tony's neck_.

"We'll see you tonight, Tony." And Loki, mere moments after wringing Tony's neck, leaned forward and tenderly pressed their lips together. With a grin, he joined Thor, and the pair headed for his car.

Tony blinked after them. It felt like a long time before he was able to function properly enough to leave.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeeeah, it's been a while. Real life issues, writer's block, you know the story. XD

"Wow." Tony ran his hands down his face as he walked into his apartment. "So glad that madness is over with."

"Madness?" There he was. Young Bruce, in all his bespectacled nerdy adorableness, perched on a chair with a textbook. "What happened? Trouble in paradise?"

"I've said it before." Bruce was not alone. Already making herself at home on the couch, presumably ready for movie night, was Natasha. She looked... pretty much the same, really. "Never stick your dick in crazy."

"Hey, Loki's not crazy," Tony said. With a straight face. He deserved an Oscar, seriously. Hopefully he did not have bruises on his neck to betray him. "No no, we're fine, different madness. Hey, is it Steve's turn to pick tonight?" He kicked off his shoes, playing the offended boyfriend.

"She's kidding," Bruce said, soothing, and Natasha nodded.

"We all know that if anyone's sticking it in crazy, it's Loki," she said. "And yes, it's Steve's turn."

"Another classic, then," Tony said, parroting Thor's earlier comment.

Bruce smiled into his book. _"Citizen Kane_ , _Casablanca_... let's take bets."

Tony found himself wondering what movies Loki usually chose. Or Thor. And then, because his brain liked to go off on its own tracks, he found himself wondering if anybody ever commented on these two kids having such odd names. Did everybody wonder why their whole family was named after Norse gods? And, of course, it quickly occurred to him that Norse mythology might not even exist in this world. If they were all modern humans, and not ancient Asgardians, early humans wouldn't have developed a religion based on them...

Natasha excused herself to use the bathroom, and Tony flopped onto the warm spot she had left on the couch. "Are you seriously studying now?" He found an old candy wrapper on a cushion to toss at his roommate.

"No," Bruce said casually, eyes never leaving the page. "I have a porn magazine hidden in my textbook."

"Funny. I can make that happen, you know," Tony said, and Bruce turned to smile at him. "You guys do like Loki, right...?" Honestly, he wasn't even sure what made him ask. It wasn't like him to be insecure about his companions (even if they were hated enemies), but it felt right to ask. Maybe, even after a year, some of their non-Thor friends still weren't fully on board?

"We like Loki," Bruce said quickly. "You know we do. I was happy to see you settle down with _anyone_ after the way you were sleeping around to forget about your high school sweetheart."

"Yeah..." Tony mentally winced.

"He's an odd guy. But aren't we all?"

Natasha soon returned, not at all perturbed at her spot being taken, sitting on the other side of the couch and stealing the remote.

It was kind of nice. Familiar. Ever since Pepper had left and Tony started spending more time with the Avengers. Granted, they weren't exactly one big happy family, and they still argued and bickered over every little thing – so maybe they _were_ like a family in that regard – but still. Just hanging out with Bruce and Natasha, chatting on about nothing at all... he could _do_ this.

They wasted several hours like that, just hanging out. It wasn't very informative, and Tony cold have probably spent his time doing something more useful with the fate of the universe at stake and all, but he was too relaxed to care. For the first time since he had been tossed into this bizarre universe, he felt at peace. He was talking with friends about music and sports and movies and learning which professors were liked and disliked, watching stupid TV shows, and it was _nice_.

It was almost a disappointment when evening rolled around and their time wasting was interrupted.

"Five minutes early?" Natasha said, lifting her eyes to the clock when a knock came at the door. "Steve."

"I'll let him in," Tony said with a laugh. His Steve wasn't (physically) very old, he probably wasn't going to look all that different in this world. Or would he? Would he be his buff self or his scrawny sick self? Damn, Tony should have spent more time looking up everybody else online, he was supposed to be the tech savvy one getting himself and Loki through this unscathed...

When Tony flung the door open, he was greeted not by an all-American blond boy, but by... Loki. With Thor standing just behind him, and Clint with an arm around him. They were all smiling. Thor, as promised, had a small stack of pizza boxes.

"Not Steve," Tony helpfully announced. "Hey, you're early! The pizzas'll get cold."

"When was the last time you even ate pizza while it was still hot?" Bruce said.

"Good point... Hey, babe," Tony added as Loki stepped closer to lean down and kiss his cheek. That would never not be weird.

So Steve was the last to arrive, some five minutes later or so, and he was indeed the big burly fellow Tony was used to. He wasn't entirely sure if he was disappointed or not, but regardless, this universe was _weird_. Thinking too much about its existence was too mentally painful, so Tony just tried to go with the flow. He stood a little apart as everyone made themselves at home, chatting amicably amongst themselves, Loki included.

Seriously. _Weird_ universe.

"So what's on the agenda, Steve?" It was surprisingly difficult, addressing him thus. No 'Cap', no amusing patriotic nicknames, 'Rogers' would be too impersonal for school friends... "Something black and white?"

"Well, yes..." Steve tugged a movie out of his bag. Tony snagged it out of his hands, mentally groaning and blaming Loki for zapping them into this universe right before Steve's night to choose a boring as hell movie that...

Tony blinked. "Really? _Night of the Living Dead_?"

"It's a classic," Steve said, sounding almost defensive.

"Really?" Bruce chimed in, stepping closer to peer over Tony's shoulder.

"I haven't seen it before. I figure it can't be worse than some of the movies you've made me watch..."

"Nah," Tony said. "It's not bad at all by modern standards. But still." He glanced over at Loki, who had a curious look on his face, but wisely refrained from making any inquiries. He was going to have to do a lot of shutting up and pretending he knew what was going on in the days – weeks? Months? Oh god – to come. "Here, get that going, I'll grab the food and stuff." He shoved the movie into Bruce's hands and headed for the kitchen, snagging Loki's sleeve on the way and tugging him along.

"Any problems?" Tony asked softly as he set a bag of popcorn into the microwave.

"None," Loki said.

"Seriously?"

"I can handle Thor and Barton."

"Yeah, but... that's not the..." Tony ran a hand through his hair with a sigh. "No trouble with slang? References to things that have happened in the past? Electronics?"

"Stop worrying. I am already fitting in quite well." He smirked at Tony's raised eyebrow. "Barton speaks of pranks on younger students. His ideas are quite juvenile, though, it will be entertaining to train him."

"Great..." Unleashing the God of Mischief on unsuspecting freshmen... Actually, that did sound kind of fun. "Just don't get caught." Loki gave him a flat look, and Tony rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, okay. Well, don't hurt anyone." He idly watched the bag in the microwave increase in size. "Are you all set for tonight? You know what a movie is, I assume..."

"Yes. This one is about the living dead. Attacking the living, I would imagine."

Tony nodded. "It's a very popular genre. This is the movie that kicked it off."

"We have stories like that."

"Oh good!" Tony clapped Loki on the shoulder, not looking to see if he received a death glare. "Then you won't be shocked." He located a large bowl. "Not that somebody who led an army of hideous aliens would be shocked by people in makeup..."

When the popcorn was ready, Tony emptied it into the bowl. He grudgingly allowed Loki to swipe a handful, figuring it was better if he try new food without an audience. He deemed the offering acceptable, and followed Tony back to the living room, where the movie was just getting started.

Two spots on the couch had been thoughtfully left vacant, so Tony plopped down on one, the bowl on his lap immediately attacked by a few reaching hands. Loki gracefully settled down as well, squeezing his skinny ass between Tony and the couch's arm.

Tony placed the bowl onto the coffee table, then leaned back and slung an arm around his "boyfriend". The others paid them no mind. Loki did not react either, staring at the screen. Tony leaned closer to him, and said in a low, menacing voice, "They're coming to _get_ you, Loki."

"Stop that," Loki said, swatting at him while the others chuckled. He leaned into Tony, as if it were the most normal thing in the world, leaning his head on his shoulder. Which couldn't have been too comfortable, the tall bastard probably had a good five, six inches on Tony. Yet he curled down into him and seemed perfectly at ease. Tony was squeezing him closer before he even realized what he was doing.

Goddammit, Loki felt good there. And smelled good, what the hell kind of shampoo would college-age _Clint and Loki_ own? The way they fit together so nicely when they probably shouldn't have – Tony couldn't help but wonder if that was residual of their host bodies, if they were working on auto-pilot. He kind of hoped so. The way his mouth dried also had to be auto-pilot.

They remained firmly snuggled together for the duration of the movie, only occasionally munching on popcorn, while the rest of their friends chowed down on all available food. Only Thor paid the couple any attention, occasionally glancing over with a smile, pleased to see his nerdy little brother in somebody's loving embrace.

Tony took his mind off of said loving embrace by trying to pay attention to the movie. To Loki's credit, he really was a decent actor. He was focused on the screen, eyes wide and lips slightly parted as he watched. He even tensed slightly at all the right parts. Inside, he had to be laughing at the forty-plus-year-old pathetic mortal movie. And every time he tensed, Tony soothingly kissed his head. His skin and hair were alarmingly soft against Tony's lips, and Loki eased every time.

When little Karen turned and killed her parents, Loki pressed closer and buried his face in Tony's shoulder. There was that overacting again, they really needed to talk about that one of these days... Tony swallowed thickly, finding it very hard to concentrate on the rest of the movie with somebody – no matter who it was – practically in his lap, clinging like a second skin.

And when the credits rolled, Loki stared at the screen, frown tugging at his lips. "What a terrible ending," he murmured.

"It's a zombie movie," Clint said with a chuckle. "They usually have bad endings. Where have you been?"

"My brother prefers tasteful movies," Thor said, coming to Loki's rescue before Tony could elbow him.

"I'm his roommate, pal. I _know_ what movies your perfect little brother likes..." Clint smirked at them, plucking a fallen slice of pepperoni from an otherwise empty pizza box. Natasha rolled her eyes and smacked him. "Hey! Anyway, Loki, you stay the night here and you'll get a happy ending."

"I'm counting on it," Loki said, and Tony felt an urge to throttle Clint. But he couldn't, because Loki was still pressed against them. They remained on the couch while the others stood, stretching or rubbing full stomachs. Thor was no longer looking at them like an excited puppy, keeping his gaze awkwardly averted. Presumably due to the implication that his little brother was sticking around for sex. Almost absently, Loki trailed his fingers up and down Tony's arm, sending shivers down his spine. The constant, tingling touch was enough that the others' voices became white noise, and he barely noticed as everyone but Bruce said their farewells and vacated the apartment.

"Um." Bruce, Tony noticed when he shook himself out of his fog, was not looking thrilled to be left as the third wheel. "I'll go read in my room, okay?"

"No, stay," Loki said with a sly look, chuckling when the poor kid fled.

Once they were alone, Loki pulled away from Tony and stood, leaving him with a sudden burst of cold and... definitely nothing else. "What a ridiculous movie."

Tony reached for the popcorn bowl, hunting for anything edible amidst the kernels. "Hey, it was groundbreaking..." Nothing. He set the bowl aside. It and the pizza boxes would still be there in the morning, but that was what being a young adult was all about. "What movies do you like?"

Loki ignored him. "It's late."

"Yeah, and thanks to you agreeing with Barton, you have to sleep in my room..."

With a slight shrug, Loki headed straight for Tony's room, and he pushed himself off the couch to hurry after. "You get the floor! I call permanent dibs on any beds."

"And if your roommate checks on us in the morning and sees me on the floor?" Loki asked with raised eyebrow.

Tony stared at him helplessly. "No nakedness, then. We stay as clothed as believably possible." Geez, his bed had never looked so small... He tugged his shirt off and sat down on the edge. "And tomorrow we... study."

"For now," Loki said, shit-eating grin firmly in place, "you might want to at least moan. Banner is in the next room over, and expecting _something_..."

Tony was expecting much worse when he hit Loki with a pillow, but all he got for his suicidal effort was an amused snort.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the lovely reviews. You guys are the best!

"Just shut up," Tony said, face in hands, "and we can forget this happened."

"It is very flattering," Loki said casually as he rummaged through Tony's dresser. He had reasoned that this world's Loki probably kept some of his own things somewhere in his boyfriend's room, and was hunting for fresh clothes.

"Shut up." Tony huddled deeper under the blankets. "Give me a break, my body's almost a teenager again."

"Oh, you needn't explain yourself."

"And it's just something that happens to guys in the morning! A lot! There's a term for it!"

"I'm sure there is."

"Maybe not to _your_ species, but..."

"Mm." Loki held a shirt up, as if checking to see whom it might belong to. "Who has performance issues now?" He smirked.

Tony threw a pillow at him. Again. "I'm glad you're trying to get the hang of talking like an Earthling, but that means the _opposite_." Tony covered his face with a groan. "I'll save you the trouble and just jump out the window."

"We are on the ground floor," Loki said calmly. "After everything I've learned about your past, this seems like a strange thing for you to be embarrassed over."

"True..." Tony sat back up. "I've done worse." He swung his legs around and stood. "Not usually with an enemy. Well... not an enemy who's actually tried to kill me." Loki didn't respond, and Tony reached for his shirt, not caring if it was the one he wore yesterday. He paused, glancing down at his scarred chest. "I wonder what it'd be like if I still had the arc reactor." Loki gave him a puzzled look, and he gestured to his chest. "You know, the... well, maybe you don't. Glowing light in my chest? It stopped you from brainwashing me?" He shrugged. "Anyway, if it were still there, it'd cast its light on the room. But since only you and I would be able to see it, and it wouldn't technically be there, would it still cast light? Or would it be--"

"Is there an off switch on you?" Loki said with a look that was at least annoyed rather than murderous. Already they were improving.

Tony grinned at him. "There you go! You are picking up slang, good for you." Loki just rolled his eyes, and Tony yanked some pants on, over the shorts that had been his only article of clothing while sleeping beside Loki in a bed so small they had probably been spooning by default. "Let's go get breakfast."

He left the room with an 'I just got some' cocky swagger, dropping back into a normal stride once he realized Bruce was nowhere to be found. The sun had actually decided to show its face that morning, and warm light peeked in through the windows. "Hey, we've got the place to ourselves. We can just be ourselves. What do you want for breakfast?"

"What are my options?" Loki was already wrinkling his nose in anticipation as he sat at the small dining table.

"We're college students. I'm gonna say ramen and boxed mac n cheese." Tony started pulling open cupboards. "Not that either of those are good for brea—oh hey, cereal." He pulled down a box, shaking it to make sure it still contained anything. "And it's got marshmallows." He located bowls and spoons and poured them each some cereal.

Loki sampled a handful while Tony was fetching the milk, and made a sour face. "That's awful."

"You are so picky."

"It's like pure sugar." And Loki began to delicately extract all of the marshmallows from his cereal.

This was happening. Tony was seriously sitting down to breakfast with a God of Mischief who was picking bits out of his cereal. Just a couple days ago, he would have found such a situation a lot more odd.

"So..." Tony said once they had dug in. Without the sugary bits, Loki's had to taste like cardboard in milk, but he didn't make any more faces. At least, not because of the food.

"Can you not even eat quietly?" Loki eyed him, spoon paused halfway to his mouth.

Tony chose to ignore that. "I was wondering. How will we know if we're doing something wrong?" Loki just resumed eating, either not understanding the question or not caring. "I mean... if we steer the course of events of this world the wrong way, will there be some sort of warning first, or are we just all dead? How will we know? This Tony and Loki might be supposed to break up next week, while you and I continue acting like the loving couple. One of us might be supposed to die in a horrible accident tomorrow."

Loki hummed in contemplation as he finished his current spoonful. "Which one of us?"

"Do you have a helpful answer or not?"

"Not really." Loki peered at what remained in his bowl. "If this is an entire breakfast, no wonder you mortals are so sickly and fragile."

"Well what's going on back home? Are this Loki and Tony dealing with the same situation in our bodies?"

Loki snorted. "If that were the case, we would not still be here."

True enough. "Where are they, then?"

"I imagine their consciousness has simply been snuffed out as long as we occupy their bodies, to be restored once we are gone."

"And... they'll just... have this big gap in their memory afterward?" Loki just shrugged, and Tony sighed in frustration.

"I thought you knew what was going on! You immediately understood the situation when we first got here."

"I did," Loki said, nonplussed. "I do not fully understand all of the finer details. It is a very unusual situation."

"You _think_?" A thousand more questions sprang to his lips, but he swallowed them back down. Okay. That was enough of that. Tony was just going to stop thinking about it, stop questioning the whole process. It was not doing his sanity any good. If Loki even had the answers, Tony either wasn't going to like or understand them. He was going to focus on getting through this situation alive without thinking about the details, and that was that.

"So... I can fix toast or something if you want more for breakfast," Tony offered. Why not play nice? They were stuck in this together; he wasn't going to be a dick if Loki wasn't.

Loki pursed his lips in thought. "Do you have any mutton or beef?"

"Maybe an apple..."

Loki accepted the offer with an acquiescing sigh, taking the small red piece of fruit Tony found in the fridge's vegetable crisper. He took a bite, drop of juice trickling down his chin, and Tony quickly looked away. He was getting very tired of his host body's autopilot. He firmly ignored Loki as he deposited their bowls in the sink, taking his time in running water into them. _Hey, at least I hadn't offered him a banana..._

"Why get rid of it?" Loki said. Tony turned back to him curiously. Loki was still sitting, half-eaten apple still grasped loosely in one hand. So at least he wasn't obscenely eating, but even worse, nature was conspiring against them and the early morning light had moved to halo Loki. This whole universe hated him. Tony decided to focus on how the glow really accentuated how scruffy Loki's hair looked in the morning.

"What?" he finally responded.

Loki gestured toward Tony's chest with the apple. "It protected you."

"Oh, we're doing this now?" Tony folded his arms and leaned back against the counter. "If you can ask me personal questions, can I ask you personal questions?"

"No."

"Fair enough." Tony ran his fingers over his chest. "Protecting me from magic brainwashing was just a happy little bonus we discovered together. It was keeping me alive, stopping shrapnel from killing me. Once I was able to get rid of the shrapnel, I got rid of the arc reactor, too."

Loki blinked slowly up at him. "Why not get rid of the shrapnel in the first place?"

"I knew you'd ask that," Tony said. "Long story. I didn't have many options at my disposal at the time. I was kinda being held prisoner." As Loki resumed eating, he turned to the kitchen window that had decided to illuminate the psycho. The psycho that just yesterday threatened Tony with a hand around his throat. Tony cleared his throat. "And, y'know, built a suit of armor right under their noses, and Iron Man was born. So how about you?"

He could only imagine the look Loki was giving him. "I have no such story, I do not have another identity as you do. I am not a superhero."

There was nothing at all of interest outside to pretend to watch, but Tony pretended anyway. Asking questions about the origins of Loki villainy would likely be frowned upon at this stage of their relationship. "You're called the God of Mischief."

"I got into mischief often."

"And the God of Lies."

"I was good at lying."

Okay then. Well, he was talking about himself, anyway. That was a start. And discussing their own lives was easier than tackling the issues at hand. Venturing into the yawning chasm of what they (Loki) had to discuss and learn to survive in this world was too much. Tony didn't like not knowing where to start to tackle a problem. "Well you seem pretty okay with this."

"This being what, precisely?"

"Being my boyfriend. You know, another guy. I'd think that sort of thing was frowned upon in your manly man warrior culture."

"Why would you think that?"

"No, never mind." Tony ran a hand through his hair and finally turned around. An apple core sat on the table, and Loki was licking juice from his fingers. Oh, dammit, autopilot... "Stop that." Loki just raised an eyebrow. "And I'm pretty sure you're wearing my shirt, by the way."

Loki looked down at himself, lips pursed. "What?"

"Unless this Loki's an Iron Maiden fan..."

He frowned down at the shirt. "That's not a torture device?"

"You are seriously weird." Tony dropped back onto the chair with a sigh, grabbing the milk carton to take a swig. "So. Today we brainstorm and study. Where do we start?" He set the carton aside, waiting for an answer that never came. "Um. Any ideas? Areas of human nature you need help with?"

Loki let out a slow breath, apparently relenting. "I suppose a lesson in slang would be all right."

"Great!" Tony clapped his hands together. It was like he could hear the orchestra swell as they finally worked together. "Good place to start."

"And a brief rundown of human psychology."

Record scratch. "No problem. Brief it is..."


End file.
